Have you ever met or know someone who looks perpetually mad? I have. I'm turning into that person. At least, I feel like I am. "You're never fully dressed without a smile"...hmmm, right. Some days, I find it difficult to smile. I've always been a glass half full kind of person. The glass is slowly emptying. Mostly, I'm exaggerating. But, truthfully I feel like a robot some days. I feel like I have so many responsibilities, my time is filled with medicines, bowel care, bladder care, appointments, laundry, dishes. You get the idea. Some days it seems like I'm so busy taking care of people that I forget to enjoy them, or I'm too tired to enjoy them. If there are too many days in a row like that, I forget to smile, laugh.
There are those who have day after day, month after month, year after year robot days. No wonder I run across mad looking people. No wonder the lack of laugh lines. There are those who care for children, parents, loved ones 24 hours a day their entire lives. The mad/sad faces of this world must be a reflection of a difficult life. Too much care, worry, pain, loss make for sad faces. My attitude and thoughts about sad/mad faces is changing. I no longer wonder if someone has had a difficult life. I realize they have had or are traveling a rough road. Do you think there are roads so difficult to travel that the sad/mad face is life long? I do. Over the last several years, I've known people who've lost a spouse tragically, lost a grandchild, diagnosed with cancer, acquired disease. How many more are there in the world I haven't met? The people I see in the grocery store, at the doctor's office, at church? There are too many hurting souls to count.
Is it possible to have a sad/mad face and still have joy? I think it is. In fact, the days that go by without wet sheets in the morning, belly pain in the night, scripts filled at the pharmacy without hiccups, insurance that covers, children who laugh, friends who encourage...those days are for cherishing. Those days are for smiling. Those days make the robot days disappear. Those days, I smile at God, and say, "Thank You."
Learning to smile through the robot days is my next goal. I know people who do it... those annoying smilers. I want to smack them. Just kidding. To live joyfully, to live with genuine contentment is a gift that many I know share with the world. God shines through them so brightly that it's impossible not to be blessed. Some people just have the gift of encouragement, and they exercise it. Thank God for those who care, who take the time to notice hurting people. Oh to be more aware, more focused on the heart broken. To get out of my robot days and seek out the lost. I'm striving to be a perpetual smiler...not a mean old lady. But, if you see me without a smile, without a greeting, if I forget your name, it's because I'm having a robot day. I might need you to forgive me, to understand me, to encourage me. And, I'll try to pay it forward and encourage the next needy soul, even if it's just a smile.
